When Hillary Clinton said it takes a village to raise a child she was right.  Albeit, maybe not a village per se, but a society that is invested in children’s well-being.  After all, are we not a caring society that prescribes to the notion that children are important?  I believe we are.  I believe that our laws and general collective behavior indicate that we care about children living happy, healthy and balanced lives.  We have systems and programs devised to prevent children from being neglected, abused, bullied or treated differently.  We are appalled when we hear that children have been treated poorly.  We are concerned about children having happy and carefree hearts.

But really, who is responsible for the heart of a child?  Who stands guard in protection against abuses and unnecessary heartbreak?  Of course there are parents, family members, friends, teachers, etc. – but what about the rest of us? Are we, the proverbial village, responsible generally for the hearts of children?  Are we as good citizens responsible for ensuring that we safeguard children’s hearts?  If you emphatically answered yes to my queries above then consider the below post from my friend’s Facebook page about her son Calvin.

How are you raising you kids? My son with Aspergers celebrated his Golden Birthday (10) on Friday. Yesterday he saw some neighbor kids playing and wanted to go play with them. Even took over some leftover birthday cake to share. He came back with tears in his eyes. They told him they were going to go get something, took off on their scooters, and left him standing there and didn’t come back. It’s just not right…

Would your child do this to the heart of another child? Is the blatant disregard for Calvin’s feelings by these children acceptable?  Do we just label it unfortunate because children are sometimes mean or do we own some responsibility for their upbringing? Isn’t the point to raise good, responsible citizens?  Isn’t the job of good, responsible citizens to protect the heart of a child?  Isn’t that our covenant in regard to children?

Calvin is only 10 and as you may recall from a prior blog about him (see Can you help grant this one wish?) he just wants to be treated well by others.  It is challenging enough to a tender soul to deal with Asperger syndrome (a condition in the autism spectrum), why must Calvin’s life struggles be compounded by an indifference toward his feelings…a casual disregard for his heart?

I have been picked on. I have been the one that no one wanted to play with.  I have been the heart that was disregarded.  I know what it feels like.  I know it hurts. I don’t want that for other children.  I don’t want that for Calvin.

As a parent and a citizen I try and ensure that I am a steward of children’s hearts – both in my own actions and in the way that I raise my children to become responsible citizens.  The way Calvin was treated was wrong and I am sad for him.  Is this the best we can do?

Calvin is a spectacular kid.  He is full of love, insight and character.  He will grow up to be a stellar adult and citizen.  And make no mistake, he will closely safeguard the hearts of others because he knows the effect when such safeguards are disregarded.  Yes, Calvin will survive this, but don’t ever expect him to forget it.  You don’t forget it…I know this from my own experiences…you are forever burdened with the painful memories of being disregarded.

So who is ultimately responsible for the heart of a child? Is it you?  It’s definitely me…and Calvin.

Day seven hundred and seven of the new forty – obla di obla da

Ms. C