I have been at this parenting thing for awhile (June 16th marks 30 years). With three of my four children over the age of 21 I have done the pre-teen/teen years not once, not twice, but three times. I might add that one of those times was with a daughter whose penchant for dramatic flair was something to marvel at. The good news is, they move past the teen year angst and become perfectly lovely and reasonable human beings and you have only aged five years to every one of their pre-teen/teen years (which makes me exactly how old…7 x 5 x 3…uhh…never mind).
My past experience in this area serves as a source of frustration for child number four (a.k.a. Cheyenne) as I have honed my skills throughout the childhoods of her sibling predecessors. As I often remind her – this is not my first rodeo.
Today Cheyenne tried to convince me that she needed her own email account. She told me all – yes…ALL- of the other sixth graders at her school have their own email accounts. I found this hard to believe, so I told her I would happily contact the principal at her school and offer to survey all the sixth graders about this really interesting factoid she shared – that ALL the other sixth graders had email. Yeah, well she wasn’t entirely sure if I was serious, but she wasn’t willing to risk it…the older children have preconditioned her with their life experiences and their mom moments.
Would I have really surveyed all the sixth graders – probably not, but the mere thought of me interacting in her school universe is enough to shut down broad generalizations designed to guilt me into submission. Yep…not my first rodeo…I honed my skills on this tactic with children two and three…I have it down to a science now. Never flinch…and never capitulate to the “all the other kids have it” lament…and to really up the game insert yourself into the frame.
This pre-teen/teen thing does get easier over time as one’s skills improve. Perhaps that means that the fourth one will age me a bit less in the years to come than her siblings did…indeed, perhaps this one will actually make me feel younger…perhaps…I’ll keep you posted. 😉
Day six hundred and one of the new forty – obla di obla da
Ms. C
THE NEW FORTY 
I may be still bull riding in my first and only rodeo, but I feel I have to warn you to be careful. Children tend to become as crafty as necessary to get what they want. Your game may be at a high level, but that just means your daughter needs to play at an even higher level, and she eventually will: They all do! The kids always come out on top! Based on your belief that you’re getting the upper hand, I think it’s likely that child #4 has you right where she wants you. Watch out for this one: She’s good! She’s learned from the other’s mistakes. The youngest are always the best at getting their way!
By the way, I appreciate the power of your suggestion to enter into her universe. That tool has proven to be quite effective in my experiences as well. I know it won’t last forever, but I will continue to use it whenever I want to limit debate for as long as it works!
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