Okay, so here’s the thing – I am not a fan of gnomes. Well, actually that isn’t a strong enough statement. The truth is gnomes creep me out. And yes, I am talking about those seemingly jovial statues folks put in their yards that have a grin painted on their face in perpetuity. I know they seem so innocent, but a long time ago I saw a television show where the gnomes came to life at night and did horrible things – that pretty much sealed the deal with me and gnomes.
My gnome aversion was a closely held secret for many years. About 4 years ago in a moment of utter stupidity I told my girlfriend Dorothy that gnomes creeped me out and like the good, understanding friend she is she immediately capitalized on the information to tease and torture me. Since that time she has enlisted others and now there have been a whole series of gnome “incidents”.
If you know emergency management folks you know they love humor and if you want to be able to survive in the ranks you have to be able take and give back a good ribbing. So the gnomes became my cross to bear…however, I am not one to stand still without fighting back.
This year at Christmas time I sent a group of colleagues who live to torture me with gnomes (I call them my gnomies) a calendar specially designed for them that featured nothing but gnomes on each page. I figured if they lived a year with the creepy little guys staring at them they may think twice before they tortured me again.
Yesterday I received a nondescript manila envelope at work with the below note with a sensitivity gnome in the form of a
creepy little smurf. The note basically orders me to take the creepy guy with me on my travels and document it or risk having a whole slew of gnomes descend upon my office.
So yes…I capitulated…for now. But this story is far from over – I am percolating an idea that will knock their gnome-loving socks off… they have gnome idea what I am capable of…oh you gnome I mean it…yeah…I gnome – that was one gnome too many. 😉
Day five hundred and seventy of the new forty – obla di obla da
Ms. C
THE NEW FORTY 
Say the word and this spring we will print up some nice gnome targets and head out to the range. It worked with the Barney plush toys for me.
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Don’t you dare start shooting Gnomes.
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Carol, you know I have nothing but love for you my dear friend and I had gnome idea that the fun and games that was bestowed upon you at our favorite June gathering place would have carried on for two years, so my apologies as it seems you are now more scarred than ever! I want you to know that I have the wonderful calendar you sent to me right here at my desk so I can look at it and try to figure out why they are so horrible…so ask me at the end of the year.
But for now, in my defense I suppose, I look at the calendar and every day it makes me smile as it reminds me of my great friend Carol and her gnomies and that sometimes helps me make it through the day ;>)
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