I have seen many things in my years on the planet.  I have lived – I think – a fairly interesting life and have been exposed to many different ideas and cultures.  I have seen things and heard things that have stretched my understanding of the human experience – and I have learned a lot about variation in the way folks think and live their lives; yet, on occasion I am still subject to surprise.

Case in point, the 6-Pack Drink Holster that features a quick-snap buckle with an adjustable strap that fits most waists (and when they say “most” they mean most – 30″ – 54″).  This little gem comes from the Lakeside Collection Christmas 2010 catalog and is offered in three color options to meet the needs of not only his and her gift-giving, but also the needs of hunters – hence, the camo option.  And wait – there’s more – this can be yours for the unbelievably low price of $4.95 (although the discussion regarding the cost to your credibility and dignity is a whole different story).

As you can see Lakeside used attractive people to model this incredibly handy item and pitched it with, “You’ll be the hit of the tailgating party or fishing trip.”  Hmmm…ya’ think??

Lakeside also claims that “wearing this holster, you won’t have to worry about misplacing your drink at a party, or someone else walking off with it when you set it down.”

Let me give you a little dose of reality here from my little spot in the universe in case you are actually considering this “holster” to be an item of functional utility – even if you look like the attractive people modeling these holsters and are a multi-millionaire (no scratch that – a billionaire) – wearing this drink holster will have the effect of ensuring that you will never have a mate (or even a random sex act with the person you fed the beer in your holster to) or earn the respect or admiration of your peers (and that’s just for starters – I could go on for days about all the things you will not experience based on wearing this one item).

I will make a prediction right here and now that this item will make its way into Lakeside’s clearance catalog before it is all said and done, and if I am wrong and this actually is a hit with consumers – well then, Beam Me Up Scotty – as I am clearly in the wrong universe.

Day four hundred and twenty-seven of the new forty – obla di obla da

Ms. C