Okay folks, as a once-again single person I have had an ephiphany on singleness and dating and I thought what better place to share it than here.  So here are the five main points that came to me in my ephipany:

1) Dating when done correctly is a full-time job.

2) Most single people already have full-time jobs and other responsibilities.

3) In an effort to shortcut the time requirement in dating, some single people find it necessary to actively look for a mate. 

4) In actively looking for a mate, the dating process becomes more of a screening process than a fun exploration where one meets and experiences new people.

5) Those who do attempt to utilize the dating process correctly risk being single forever.

At this point a few clarifications are probably necessary.  When I say dating "when done correctly" I mean dating where you enter with perhaps some level of attraction and then spend time together doing something mutually agreeable to see if there is any chemistry.  In some cases, this can require more than one date…maybe two or three…maybe six…whatever, dating "when done correctly" requires jumping in to the water and gauging the temperature.   When this approach is magnified across the potential dating pool, many months, even years can be soaked up by dating.  This type of time and energy is a lot to ask of single people who are trying to maintain gainful employment, a household and perhaps even be parents…dating "when done correctly" can be exhausting.

So, there a single folks who just want to cut to the chase and find their mate.  That may mean dramatically narrowing the dating pool right out the gate by eliminating folks based on some prescribed list of wants or needs and limiting the number of dates available for proving up chemistry.  So potentials can be screened out in round one and never even get to an actual date.  This is where I worry about the mechanics of screening folks out (which theoretically we do anyway mentally – but which is much less hardlined in person than on paper).  In dating "when done correctly" we come to have a more well-rounded view of a person that we never get a glimpse of if they are screened out on the front-end based on characteristics that we may ultimately be willing to overlook based on the whole package presentation we learn about in the dating process.

As you can probably tell, I subscribe to the dating "when done correctly" methodology; alas, that is not without its own trials.  This type of dating is very time consuming and is further complicated by the segment of the dating population that is screening .  The screening process not only makes it more difficult for me to take my time examining chemistry and compatibility (as if I have made it through someone’s cut to a date I am apparently but a hop, skip and a jump to mate worthy), but it also jades the other folks like me in the dating pool to jump out due to all the screening go on.

I like the old-fashioned notion of dating where chemistry and compatibility are examined over time and interaction and where characteristics are judged in light of the whole.  Of course, this type of dating is for the dinosaurs who lived much less complex lives, not the busy single folks of today. So if I am still single ten years from now you’ll know why…I am still examining the chemistry and compatibility within the dating pool – old school style. 😉

Day three hundred and fifty-eight of the new forty – obla di obla da

Ms. C