I was working my way through an old stack of miscellaneous papers and articles that I have kept for years thinking I needed them (I blame this sudden burst of organizational focus on Prairie Woman who recently laid out an entire organizational strategy that seemed quite logical). At any rate, I ran across a series of old emails that had funny stuff in them that I had printed off and thought I would share today a bit from one of them that I received way back in 1999. And yes, I know it is about time I get rid of some of this stuff, but it isn’t easy to let go of stuff I may use some day. My thought is that by using it here I will have satisfied that need and I can move on – one old email at a time (perhaps I should have started this purging effort at the new ten instead of the new forty?).
So, let’s talk bumper stickers. I love bumper stickers, even though I would never attach one to my vehicle’s bumper. I have taped them inside my windows in the distant past, but I never could bring myself to stick one on my car – something about the permanence of it all (which likely also explains why I have no tattoos – not enough long-term commitment). I do have bumper stickers on Facebook, but those are a tad different than the bumper stickers on a car as those can be added or deleted with the push of a button and leave no residue.
So, for your amusement, to aid my cleaning effort and to satisfy my urge to share these funny bumper stickers without committing a bumper here you go:
All generalizations are false.
Where’s there a will, I want to be in it.
My mind is like a steel trap…rusty and illegal in most states.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
Apathy: I could take it or leave it.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Where are we going and why am I in this hand-basket?
Forget the Joneses, I keep up with the Simpsons.
Avoid alliterations always.
Some days, it’s not even worth chewing through the restraints.
I’m so far behind, I think I’m first.
Who are these children, and why do they keep calling me Mom?
OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
Five days a week, my body is a temple. The other two, it’s an amusement park.
Why are you staring at my bumper!? You pervert!
You read my bumper sticker. That’s enough social interaction for today.
Day one hundred and twenty-eight of the new forty – obla di obla da
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THE NEW FORTY 
i don’t allow them on my vehicle either..I think they are tacky..but I do love to read them.. Yours were very good:)
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I always wanted to put them on my vehicle, but HighGuy wouldn’t allow it. Killjoy. The bumper sticker I would put on my car would read, “Hang up and drive!”
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Always glad to give people a push…LOL!
Ever since my ex said that nasty bit about bumper stickers reducing the value of your vehicle I can’t do it either.
My bumper sticker would be the same as HOMD’s. Those people annoy the hell out of me.
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No bumper stickers for me, but I think one of the ones you listed is my new motto: I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. So true, I’m not sure if I should laugh or cry. :~)
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