I think when most folks say TMI (Too Much Information) they are referencing the disclosure of private information from an individual that makes them uncomfortable. That is how I typically define it, but this morning as I attempt to catch up on my bulging email boxes I find myself screaming at the computer, “TMI!” And yes, I talk to inanimate objects, myself, the cats – take that as a given and move on.

I receive over 100 emails a day between my two email accounts. On bad days it is closer to 150. Of these emails, about 1/2 require some action or response from me. I calculate that each action/response takes me anywhere from 3-10 minutes depending on what is involved. Now, it is noted that I am the world’s most dysfunctional typist. My father told me to take typing in high school – he said, “Every girl should know how to type.” I took body shop instead and learned how to use a Morgan Knocker to pull out dents; plus, that was where the boys were which at the time seemed infinitely more important than typing. So now, I suffer with this pitiful non-typing effort that is only a tad bit quicker than hunt and peck – maybe in the twenty-five words a minute range (if I am not eating while typing – then it is about ten words a minute and sometimes the keys get sticky as well).

At any rate, between 50 and 75 emails a day require between 3 and 10 minutes each…needless to say I get behind. So every six or so weeks I have to spend close to an entire day catching up on responses, filing the emails I need to keep in the proper files, and dutifully reading the info only ones. Fortunately, most I have already glanced at to see if they contained emergency information before resigning myself to getting a response out later.

It is impossible to deal with all the information I receive in emails daily. Even if my sole responsibility was responding to emails I would go mad trying to read, absorb and retain the literally dozens of articles and list serv info pushes I get daily. There simply do not have enough grey matter left for that effort (but note that I recall what a Morgan Knocker is and does – it is confounding the things you do retain).  Add to that the emails that actually require some action or thought on my part and I feel like I need to pray to the Saint of Perpetual Guilt as I absolutely feel guilty in perpituity.

Back in the days when there was no email I felt less inadequate and I also never felt like I was lacking information. My pre-computer view of information technology was a telephone, letter, newspaper, book or CB radio (I had a boyfriend way back in the high school days that had a CB radio– 10-4 good buddy – that was sexy stuff back then). Now I am stuck in the email era. I don’t think I’ll ever fully advance into the texting and Blackberry era – simply too remedial and without sufficient memory (not unlike my old computer from the early nineties).

Sometimes I think I should just create an automated message that goes back to every email sender that says:

“I have received your email. I am woefully behind and may not be able to respond to your email immediately. If this is an emergency please call me or physically come and get me. I feel tremendously guilty and will likely need therapy as I feel my late responses to email are akin to bad manners and I want you to know my mother raised me to know and do better…God rest her soul. I really do appreciate that you have taken the time to email me and I want you to know that when I do finally get an opportunity to respond I will give it my full attention. My lack of immediate response in no way denotes that your email is unimportant. I really appreciate your understanding and patience. I hope you have a lovely day, week and month."

Hmmm…TMI perhaps?

Day forty-eight of the new forty – obla di obla da

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