OMG – I love Regan Johnson! Regan, daughter of my dear friend Barbara, is the adorable and powerful young woman who sent me the giant birthday card and who reminded me therein that her mother said, “When you are fifty you celebrate every day!” Well, I just got another card from Regan the other day checking in on my new forty status and it is sooo funny – it has a little crank and when you turn it the characters move and there is a hilarious conversation about coffee between two apparent coffee addicts. Apparently word on my addiction is out.

That was so thoughtful of Regan and it made my day. I have been playing with it ever since I received it and I plan to take it to my office tomorrow so my students can play with it once the semester starts. God bless the thoughtful people. I am surrounded by thoughtful people who take the time to do little things for me (and do not bring up Mr. Carol and the coffee – that only looks thoughtful – he just wants a spouse for life).

I am not always good at being thoughtful. I am too busy running around like a chicken with my head cut off most days to even retain a cogent thought. But I do so adore my friends who surround me with love and I know that they know that even though I am often going in too many directions at one time I still love them dearly and appreciate all they do for me.

The vast majority of my friends are women – strong, funny women of all ages. It used to be that women became stronger and grew more into their own as they aged, but I look at some of the strong young women around me – Sara Lepp, Megan, Melissa Walter, Tam, and my daughter Sarah – and I see a refreshing shift. Annie Lennox of the Eurythmics sang a song back in the eighties called, "Sisters Are Doin’ It for Themselves" and today more than ever that is true and I find it incredibly refreshing.

Now, this does not mean I am a bra burning feminist. After all, bras are expensive and finding one that fits and places the girls in their rightful place of honor is quite a feat. No, I am not a bra burning feminist…but I am a strong woman who believes equally in strength and still being a girl – something I have affectionately termed a “feminine”. As a “feminine”, I do not want to be the same as men in all things. Equality does not equate with “same”.

Women tend to do some things better than men (based on physique and their brain wiring) and likewise men tend to do some things better than women. We are different in some abilities, but equal on the species level. We are not really all that intellectually different (although I might argue that women seem to use their brain more than men sometimes).

But, one major (and glaring) disparity must be noted between the sexes – an inequity that is rooted in societal norms and that really has not changed much despite the movement toward equality – apparel. Let’s face it – women get better clothes, shoes and accessories. Therein is one of the main reasons why being a woman is far superior to being a man (in addition to things like being able to carry and bear children and multi-task).

Men’s bottom choices are so limited – pants, shorts and on rare occasions, kilts. Compare that to women’s bottom choices – pants, shorts, skirts (of all lengths), capris, skorts, gauchos, dresses, and of course, leggings. In the choices for tops women quite literally smoke men. I will not even bother trying to list all the options women have, but instead will ask,  when was the last time you saw a beaded sweater set for men (Hollywood, Miami and New York City stores excluded)?

Men generally have tee shirts, button-up shirts, polo shirts, basic casual wear long sleeve shirts (this is where the dreaded turtleneck and faux turtleneck live) and sweaters. If they are lucky they get a geometric or floral print to spice up their choices. And then there is plaid. Look around the women’s section and see how many plaid tops you can find…hmmmm…not many…I will leave it at that – enough said.

Men don’t have the opportunity to choose during the summer to wear a strapless or halter top, but women can certainly wear a tank top or tee shirt like men do. You may say, "but men can go bare-chested" (but that would include bare-bellied – which is where your argument mainly goes horribly wrong in a Big Mac world); but, to that I say women could too go bare-chested but for the number of traffic accidents, incidents of domestic violence (women would be slapping men every other minute), and the obvious injuries (for the men injuries from rubbernecking and for the women a repetitive movement injury from all that smacking of husbands). 

Spend five minutes at a shoe store and you will recognize that the men’s section is at best a third the size of the women’s section. As for color and pattern choices – if a man is not a fan of black, brown, white or gray he is likely to need shoe limitation therapy in his adult life (I hear there are specialists in this area). No purple pumps or gingham checked summer sandals for the boys – only the neutrals with barely noticeable heels.

I have never heard a man speak with sheer adoration about his shoes; conversely, women can hold entire conversations about their shoes and regularly admire each others’ shoes.  Men merely wear shoes, women cherish them.  Also the shoe ratio between men and women is at best 1:5 (please note that this is an average across all households and is not representative of all women – many of whom own a minimum of twenty pairs of shoes – my personal shoe count confession will be left for another day).

And as for accessories – forget about it. Women have scarves and capes and tights and leg warmers and purses and totes and headbands and barrettes and bracelets and earrings (real earrings, not those silly little stud earrings men wear) and sashes and belts (belts that are meant for decoration not utility) – to name the items that sit at the top of my head, but there are literally dozens more. Go to Gordmans some day and look at the floor space allocated to women’s accessories as opposed to that which is allocated for men’s accessories…a startling reminder that in apparel – women’s choices are clearly superior.

But, once again I got off track somehow…back to the point: bravo to all my sisters who are doin’ it for themselves. Your strength, power, and fabulous outfits are noted and I hope to be just like you when I grow up (which will hopefully occur in the new forty).  🙂

Day thirty-seven of the new forty – obla di obla da

CC