I love clever one-liners.  Which explains why I still have a pamphlet of 101 clever one-liners that was sent to me by Metropolitan Baptist Church in Fargo when I moved to West Fargo about four years ago.  As part of the kitchen moving and reorganizing I ran across that pamphlet again and it never ceases to amuse me (hence, I will continue to hold on to it).

I wish I could retain these in my brain so that I could whip them out at social gatherings to amuse folks with my wit (albeit, borrowed wit – but even borrowed wit is typically well-received).  Alas, I am in “middle-age” (whatever the hell that age bracket is) and have jello brain as of late.  These days I am happy to retain the children’s names and my home and work address…everything else is optional.

So for your entertainment (and my own) here are some of the clever one-liners. Feel free to borrow them for your own use at social gatherings…they are deliciously clever! 😉

If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving!

Never answer an anonymous letter.

Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

All generalizations are false.

They told me I was gullible…and I believed them.

It’s bad luck to be superstitious.

I can handle pain until it hurts.

Honk if you like peace and quiet.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Day six hundred and sixteen of the new forty – obla di obla da

Ms. C