Last night I had dinner at the HoDo with a dear friend that I haven’t been able to see for too long.  It was a lovely visit and truly good for the soul.  We were there for a few hours visiting and laughing and during that time lots of folks came and went.  Of course I, as a consummate people watcher, could not help but notice the folks coming and going be they alone, in pairs or in groups.  There is such an interesting mix of folks at the HoDo.

The thing that stuck with me though through all those comings and goings was based on a long-standing curiosity I have about coupling – why do some couples at first blush seem so unevenly matched?   And so we are clear, that unevenness is purely an armchair quarterback assessment of looks compatibility. I recognize not everyone can be a Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie…and rarely are folks so uneven as to be a Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris…but most folks lie within a standard deviation or two from their partner’s looks.

I never really noticed this unevenness factor as much until I moved to North Dakota.  I am not sure if that is a function of me paying more attention or this area having less balance in its pairings.  I have thought about this a great deal over the years and I do believe I have solved the puzzle of unevenness – it is all about attractiveness multipliers.

We all have attractiveness multipliers and we all look for them in others.  Perhaps the attractiveness multiplier is a physical feature or characteristic (e.g., blue eyes, long hair, rugged chin, redhead, tall, thin, curvy, long neck, broad shoulders, etc.) .  Sometimes the multiplier is a certain type of sense of humor, confidence,  intelligence or wealth.  Sometimes it is something that you cannot pinpoint – a je ne sais quoi – if you will.  Other times it may be a combination of many multipliers.

Most folks can easily identify the attractiveness multipliers that make a difference in how attractive a person is (and conversely those that detract from attractiveness are typically easily identified as well).  I know a sense of humor is a huge multiplier in my world – added to a whole assortment of other things (I have always excelled at my multiplication facts).  😉

The great thing though from the outside looking in – which is all a curious people watcher like me can do – is the recognition that there is more to folks’ stories than what is on the surface.  She may be breathtaking and he may be very average (or vice versa) from a purely physical assessment, but he may possess a dozen important attractiveness multipliers that she is drawn to and appreciates.

The whole notion of attractiveness multipliers makes people watching that much more interesting and it makes the magic that occurs when folks come together that much more amazing…well, except for couplings like Hugh and Crystal – that’s not magical…that is just disturbing.  They are the ends of the spectrum for unevenness (although he may have a pretty big attractiveness multiplier such as a fat bank account – but really – with a 60 year age difference I am thinking he would need to own North America to achieve even a small multiplier).  To be fair, watching a couple like that is not really even classified as people watching…it is the equivalent to watching a train wreck – startling and horrifying, but you just can’t take your eyes off it.

Day five hundred and seventy-one of the new forty – obla di obla da

Ms. C