Today is my mother’s birthday.  My mom passed away quite unexpectedly eight and a half years ago as a result of a massive stroke.  Ever since then I have been more cognizant of how much all the things she taught me matter.  I gave the eulogy at my mother’s funeral.  I typed it all out in advance, but when it came time to read it – it was tough.  As I recall it, I pretty much sobbed through the whole thing (a note to anyone who was considering asking me to do a eulogy – in this area my mad skills for speaking to large groups evaporate).

The other day as I was going through items that were affected by the flooding on my lower level I found the printed, dog-eared copy of the eulogy folded up amongst some other personal items.  I had not looked at it since the funeral.  On the occasion of what would have been my mother’s 80th birthday I thought it would be a good time to share it.  The eulogy focused on the things I learned from my mother.

From my mother I learned that you should never intentionally hurt living things.

From my mother I learned that it is true – some smiles can light up a room.

From my mother I learned that you don’t have to burn your bra or stand in protest to be a strong woman.

From my mother I learned the intrinsic value of being able to crack yourself up.

From my mother I learned that you don’t need to have a lot of stuff to have everything you need.

From my mother I learned that a little bit of charm and a whole lot of good intentions can take you a long way.

From my mother I learned that it is better to buy three boxes of cereal – that you have no intention of eating yourself – on sale – with double coupons – at 49 cents a piece to give to others than to throw out a coupon.

From my mother I learned that while it is nice to be important, it is more important to be nice.

From my mother I learned to value and embrace the underdog.

From my mother I learned that swearing is much more effective if done only once in a blue moon.

From my mother I learned the importance of friendship.

From my mother I learned that warm chocolate chip cookies really can make some things all better.

From my mother I learned that those who think it is all about them – have missed the point.

From my mother I learned that it is more fun to be mischievous when no one expects it.

From my mother I learned that the real heroes in this world are those that live their everyday lives caring and being kind and good to others.  Those who, by their example, teach their families to do likewise, creating a ripple effect that reaches across generations, across time and across all that might divide us.

My mom lived a life that many would say was unspectacular – she set no world records, wrote no books, did not travel in influential circles and was never considered by those who did not know her as someone who helped changed the world.  But she did indeed change the world – one small kindness at a time – and she taught her children and grandchildren the importance of small kindnesses in making the world a happier place.  You see, small kindnesses tend to have a ripple effect that automatically extends outward person by person.

So every year on my mom’s birthday, I ask that folks make the effort to extend one small kindness toward another human being – be it opening a door, giving a compliment, providing a smile, or any other thing that has the power to ripple outward into the community.  This kindness thing is really quite powerful.  It is amazing how much impact your small effort can have on a person’s day and consequently on the trajectory of their further interactions for the day.  Kindness is contagious and it really is easy to give…this I know…I learned it from my mother.

Day four hundred and seventy-five of the new forty – obla di obla da

Ms. C