I saw a t-shirt for young women in JC Penney’s weekly advertisement yesterday that read, "IF YOU KNEW MY MOTHER YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND." 

I think my daughter Sarah has actually said that – numerous times.  I was tempted to buy that t-shirt for her, but then it occurred to me that it would only cause her to wear it and then she would have a launching pad from which to explain the shirt, hence I would assist in generating more of the same – no thanks.

You see, sometimes I embarrass my children.  Most days it is because I am a tad of a "flirt" – or at least that is how they label my genuine efforts to be nice and connect with others of the opposite sex in society (albeit, they don’t use the word "tad" as a modifier they use other words like "huge", "uncontrollable", and "notorious" – I think they have a penchant toward exaggeration).  I keep reiterating that the correct interpretation of my behavior is that I am "gregarious", but they aren’t feeling it.

On many a day when I am out and about with Sarah she will tell some poor fellow not to talk to me or to ignore me and when he expresses curiosity as to why she says that she adds, "IF YOU KNEW MY MOTHER YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND." And then I just smile and nod my head as if I have been horribly mis-characterized by my socially sensitive daughter – I am after all completely harmless…a single woman in the new forty…how much damage can I really do?  I am innocent…well, sorta’ innocent…well, mostly innocent. 

I ask you – is flirting really such a bad thing?

What is flirting anyway, but a lighthearted banter designed to show appreciation for another person?  I believe it is a healthy outlet for connecting with others – sure, in my case the person happens to be of the opposite sex and can range in age from their twenties to their eighties – but is there really anything wrong with that?  The men like it, I like it – my children well, they don’t like it so much – it ruins their appetities and causes them to want to run to see therapists – but, is it really all that horrible a thing? 

Joyce Jilson once said, "There are times not to flirt. When you’re sick. When you’re with children. When you’re on the witness stand."  When she said children I thought she meant young people under age 18, but clearly she meant when you are with your offspring regardless of their age (as my complaining children are 29, 28 and 22).  I don’t know why I have included her quotation herein anyway…who says you shouldn’t flirt when you are sick?  What if the doctor or medical staff are worthy of attention…why foreclose any opportunity to reach out?  Also, there is nothing wrong with a well-placed wink or smile to a judge or jury…clearly Joyce was a bit off the day she said that.

So I embarrass my children on occasion with a bit of flirting – I admit it.  Even worse for my children is when the fellow I am flirting with reciprocates and eggs me on despite my children’s protestations – then there are a chorus of gagging sounds and "Oh my gawd Mother!" to contend with…it is unseemly. 

In truth, sometimes my children embarrass me.  I am a single woman in the prime of my life and I want to get out and mix and mingle.  All the moaning and groaning that goes on whenever I offer up a smile or an appreciative phrase to a cute fella’ is ruining my mojo…and they wonder why I don’t want to go out anywhere with them anymore.  Perhaps I am the one who needs a special t-shirt…one that reads, "IF YOU KNEW MY CHILDREN YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND."  I can see it now, a cute gentleman will ask me what my shirt means and I’ll have to tell him the whole story – with a wink and a smile of course. 😉

Day three hundred and ninety-nine of the new forty – obla di obla da

Ms. C