MSN’s home page had an article today that asked, “Is Your Partner Making You Fat?” Yes, it is true – I cannot make this stuff up (see http://health.msn.com/weight-loss/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100248082&gt1=31036).

The opening paragraph says:

“A new study says newly married couples gain an average of 16 pounds between them in the first two years of marriage. So, who’s to blame? The editors of Men’s Health and Women’s Health hold a grudge match on the pudge facts.”

The article goes on in a He said…She said format featuring the editors from the magazines. I must say they did make some interesting points that focused on why the weight gain occurs and how to get rid of it. I got stuck on the 16 pounds though that couples gain between them…hmmm…that concerns me.

My husband has not gained weight during our relationship. He has actually lost weight (and yes, it may have something to do with my cooking – but don’t get mired down in the details – focus on the matter at hand). Hmmm…so if the hubby has lost weight then will the average 16 pounds that newly married couples gain collectively need to be carried by me? This is concerning, but somewhat explanatory.

It would have been nice if I had been told this prior to marriage (for heaven’s sake I have had a few marriages and no one has ever mentioned the pudge effect prior to this). So I guess I am the one who has to carry the weight of this marriage. No pressure.

She (the Women’s Health editor) says, “Women burn about 26 percent fewer calories per day than guys do.” I say, “Geez, are you kidding me? Less calories and raging hormones – whose sadistic joke is this?”

He (the Men’s Health editor) points to research that says, “People are less likely to exercise and eat healthy—and more likely to pack on extra pounds—if their friend network (read: wives and girlfriends) tend toward the portlier side.” I say, “Listen Bub, if this logic made sense I would be a vapor – I have no portly friends…who asked him anyway?”

So, apparently I am not only responsible for carrying the weight in this marriage (and infinitely more able as the low calorie burning half of the team), but I can also serve as a horrible example to be emulated.  Oh my – wedded bliss.

He says one thing you can do to help beat the married pudge is to work-out together. She says a good idea is to eat low calorie popcorn and have sex. I want to know if He or She are married people. If they aren’t, I don’t want to hear from them until they have had to carry the weight of a marriage.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I better go run a few laps around the house and pop some low calorie popcorn…if I am going to have to carry the weight of the marriage at least I want our collective number to fall far below the average.

Day one hundred and forty-six of the new forty – obla di obla da

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